How we acquired our behavior

One of the most important and crucial parts of understanding why we behave,think and respond in the manner that we do is because of our family upbringing.

Whether you have had an amazing upbringing or a very uncomfortable and toxic upbringing,  this will help to determine why we behave the way we do.

As we mentioned in the previous section, our subconscious mind in formed from about the time we are 0-8 years of age, so what you witnessed and viewed during this time period is will determine how we respond.

Often times, we respond in the manner we saw our caregivers respond, one person could have been a very toxic, aggressive, manipulative individual while the other would overcompensate, submissive, fearful, and enabled.

Or you could have seen a very loving relationship between both caregivers and how they demonstrated love and affection toward each other as well as toward you.

And you grew up responding in this same manner.

Sometimes we see our caregivers give us an abundance of love which may sometimes lead to overcompensation and enabling, or withdraw love from us altogether.

Both result in a developmental stagnation, where one is crippled, coddled, and enabled therefore relying on the caregiver for love and affect.

The other, constantly seeking the validation and approval of caregiver, leading to rejection, unworthiness, and feeling abandoned.

So what did you see growing up?

Fill out the worksheet below and leave comments in the comment section. Don’t be scared there is no judgment here.


What can you determine from this information?